does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im holly from the hills drunk
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
