Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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