Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
