im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
