The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
