You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
