you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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