Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Im part way to drunk.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize