U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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