I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize