i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
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I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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