My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the day after is always just damage control
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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