watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
