i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
