Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
