I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
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Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
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Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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