she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
