There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Randomize
