4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
