I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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