yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize