I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
