Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
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