he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
