I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
