You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
