oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You made out with two different species that night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
