ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
