I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
