Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You may now shotgun with the bride
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
