you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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