Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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