and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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