i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
