I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
