It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
