Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
