I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
