She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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