Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my shit smells like andre
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
