Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
