How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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