when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
