she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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