you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
