Will you blow on my dice?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
