Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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