Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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