drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Bring me that man meat
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
