Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
