Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
