Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
