TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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