God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
