My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
