great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
