hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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