I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
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Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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