so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
