she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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