And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
