your room smells of hookers.
And success
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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