I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
